How to give a mindblowing blowjob – in six steps!

Books have been written about how to give good blowjobs. Here is my take on what makes a blowjob great.

1. Be pro-active
Don’t you love it if you find someone special, and then you find out they feel the same about you and need not a single explicit request or even any hint, and just automatically do the things that make you feel special? Guys love that too! Especially in sex!

Make use of that knowledge and be proactive in sex. If the guy has to ask for a blowjob, or if he starts subtly mentioning it in conversation, you are waiting too long. Don’t make him wait any longer. Get down on him on the spot and be playful about it. On your knees in front of him, look up at him with innocent eyes and say something along the lines of: “I am sorry your penis feels neglected. Do you want a little kiss mr. Penis? And your two friends as well? Want to feel my soft lips?” You get the point.

Waking him up to a blowjob is also a really great feeling for a guy. If you worry that it can be considered harassment if you don’t have his consent, then before bed ask your partner: “Would you mind if I wake you up with a blowjob?” To most guys, the question alone will seem sexy, cute and flattering all at once. I don’t know any guy who would refuse that. And you don’t wait until way into the relationship. Make sex exciting from the start.

Remember: when naked, both men and women feel very vulnerable physically and emotionally. Many people make the mistake of rejecting their bed partner at this most vulnerable moment. But you can be different! You can be the one that stands out positively.

For the record, this is what the less clever people, who hesitate, reject or avoid oral sex communicate to their partner:
“I am actually not that interested in you physically. There are very clear limits to my attraction for you, more so than for others who came before you. But if it comforts you a little, I will lie to you and pretend I never felt that attracted to others either, even though we both know I did it for someone else.”

How would you feel in that situation?
That’s just not cool. In the same line of thought, it should be clear now that waiting for “the right time” as an excuse to not be proactive is not romantic or flattering at all.

I had a girl so massively selfish that after I made her orgasm through oral sex in the 69 position, and I wanted a bit more oral sex for me she glared at me and said “Not now”.  It wasn’t the first time she didn’t care for my happiness, but it was the last: it created a disconnect in me.

It gave me an urge to make her empathize with the feeling she was giving me, by giving her the exact same feeling, by making her feel not special and like I don’t care. And sure enough: shortly after that was the end of it. If a girl repeatedly signals she doesn’t want her guy sexually satisfied, it’s her right to refuse him. It’s also a guy’s right to search for better elsewhere then, because why settle for someone who takes you for granted?

But luckily you are smart enough to avoid making the person you might want to have something with, feel that shitty for opening up to you. Instead you will make him feel special by being proactive in giving oral sex.

Everyone wants to feel special to the person they are with, especially when they are all vulnerable and naked emotionally and physically, and being proactive in sex is how you make a man feel that way. In the start of the relationship this can have a really strong effect on a man. Making someone feel like they are special to you, makes you even more special to them. Liking someone and them liking us back reinforces our liking of them.


2. Eye contact
Eye contact is a very intimate thing. Avoiding eye contact during any sexual act is like avoiding intimacy during intimacy. Therefore absence of eye-contact can communicate that the person avoiding eye-contact (1) wants to keep an emotional distance, or (2) is shy.

Now, it can always be that the receiver of a blowjob is a bit shy, but even then the giver should still look at the face and reactions to read exactly (a) which movement with the mouth and tongue, (b) which suction force, and (c) which rhythm needs to be repeated, and which needs to be adjusted.

If as a giver you are shy, then ask the receiver of your blowjob to close his eyes, so you can still keep looking for the expressions that give away when you are doing something with your mouth that he prefers you keep doing. Men aren’t good at multitasking: when they have to verbally guide you through, it takes a bit away from the ability to feel what you are doing. This in turn reduces the pleasure he gets, and increases the time you will need to get him to truly enjoy your blowjob. The best solution to that is to look at his face to see what your blowjob is doing to him.

And remember: every penis, like every vagina, is like a snowflake. While all similar, they are all unique. Not all men like exactly the same stroke direction, same strength of pressure/suction, same rhythm. Look at his face to find out what he likes most.


3. Skip the foreplay
Ever felt annoyed that men skip the foreplay so often? That’s because they think women work the same way as them, and men like it if a woman is straight to the point.

And let me tell you one secret of men: generally we feel annoyed if it takes too long for the girl to get straight to our dick and balls. Sometimes it can be hot, but mostly it is not. We just like it when the girl is straight to the point.

It’s not that we don’t like being touched elsewhere. Being touched elsewhere while our genitals are avoided, either puts us in a relaxing non-horny state of mind, or in a “WTF? Why is she avoiding that area?” mindset. If that’s what you want, by all means do it that way.

(Only when he has never had sex with you, will a gentle touch elsewhere make him massively horny because to him it is very clear sign you are willing to have sex, and because guys never know 100% certain if they’ll ever fuck the girl they want to, getting such a strong hint can be really arousing. Once we had sex, generally we know we can get more, so then avoiding the groin area for too long comes off a little weird.)


4. Avoid excessive head movement: focus on what is important
I don’t know what it is with girls that makes them think they need to bob their head up and down so frantically, because the real magic is in what you do with the mouth.

Most important are
(a) the pressure you apply with your lips to get a firm grip on his dick using only your lips without your teeth (or with teeth if at that moment he thinks it is kinky) and
(b) the feeling of your tongue on his dick.

That magic of your tongue should not be underestimated and is far more important than the bobbing head movement.

  • The tongue can press the penis against the roof of the mouth, so that when he moves his penis back and forth in your mouth he feels sensation on top of his penis coming from the roof of your mouth, and on the bottom from your tongue.
  • In an ancient tantric-taoist practice, the tongue is curled backwards, so that when his penis enters it automatically is guided to the roof of the mouth and the lower edges of his dickhead rub right in between the crease at the underside of the tongue. Try it!
  • Alternatively, you can take just his dickhead in your mouth and while your tongue is still in your mouth, wiggle the tip of your tongue over all the sensitive areas of his dickhead (the edges). And a tongue piercing is a nice extra.

I am not saying that head movement is bad, but you will get dizzy and/or tired faster and it is much harder to maintain proper eye contact. Psychologically it can be arousing for a guy to see a woman wants his whole penis in her mouth (deep throat), but it doesn’t necessarily create all the right physical sensations.

Moreover, seeing her gag or get dizzy/unhappy is only pleasurable for men when they are in a sadistic mood.

Also, some guys really very much want to get an orgasm from oral sex, but somehow find it hard. Especially for that kind of guy, if you let him determine the rhythm and let him move his hips instead of you moving your head, you can focus on optimizing what you do with your mouth to him. And he can focus on finding the rhythm that he feels will make him cum. Plus you are saving yourself effort.

girl-with-pearl-earring-bobbing-head-to-music

It’s not necessary to bob your head up and down if you didn’t yet master the more basic techniques of tongue and lip action


5. Don’t stop until he forces you to stop
The biggest sin in blowjobs is to stop midway.

I once had a girl who said “Don’t expect too much” right before she went down on me the first time. So I mentally prepared that the tongue pressure, the rhythm, the lip pressure might need some adjustment over time, and so I was like “Don’t worry. Go ahead”. Of course I didn’t expect her to know how exactly I like it best.

But her “don’t expect too much” meant something else entirely. It meant: “I will stop and interrupt immediately after I shove it in my mouth”. That is not even midway! That is like as soon as she gets started. She better could have warned: “I am just going to give it a little lick, nothing more”. That would have helped me anticipate what would happen without interrupting my mood.

Unfinished oral sex (stopping before he has enjoyed it enough) is one of the biggest turn offs for a guy. I can guarantee you that if the first time I go down on a girl and then give one lick only before stopping, she is going to lose her mood cause her mind is going “Shit, is my pussy that smelly? Is he disgusted?” So why would it be different for guys? We feel the same. We are just better at hiding it from you.

Of course I am always eager to learn more, and one thing I wanted to learn was how to deal with situations like this without interrupting anyone’s mood. I have also stopped licking a girl midway in the hope of learning from a girl’s reaction how to gently express dissatisfaction in such a way that the person giving oral sex feels continuing might not be a bad idea.

My reasoning was that if girls do the interrupted oral sex to guys (interrupting before I pull them back up), surely they know how to counter it if a guy does it to them. And surely they know how to revert this and encourage him to continue. But after I tried it on a girl to learn from her, I realized girls are much worse at handling rejection than guys.

Probably because girls so rarely get sexually rejected early on in the relationship, and guys just always do as they please. She started crying and asking “Why? What’s wrong?” If I would do that when a girl stops blowing me midway, I don’t think that would be helpful at all.

And think for a second: if the biggest sin is to stop before he had enough, do you know what the biggest turn on is?

I’ll tell you: the biggest turn on is if you show how eager you are to continue sucking, to make him feel you can’t get enough of his dick in your mouth and how wet it makes you.

That you want every part, including his balls. (It’s really cool to have our balls sucked or licked! Except of course if you are doing it only to avoid getting the dick in your mouth.) That you start fingering yourself because his dick in your mouth is so hot, and you won’t stop sucking until he pulls you away because the sensations are too intense.

Don’t decide for him that it is time to move on to shove it in another hole: leave any decision up to him.

Let him be the man, and if he likes you to continue enjoy how wet it makes you and just finger yourself while sucking: no guy will object if they like you to continue. If you do that, you are giving an awesome blowjob, because your intention is right.

beyonce wants dick

It’s all about making him feel how much you want him happy and desire him


6. Swallow
It’s incredible how many girls just think they should not do anything with their mouth and tongue at all, and who think it is sufficient to curl their lips in a circle and let the guy fuck her in her face. I am sorry, but if I want to fuck, I go in your pussy.

If you are giving head with the idea of “I better make sure he does NOT cum in my mouth”, then what are you doing it for? It is like going to your job to tick of your time: no you don’t go there to sit there: you go there to get stuff done!

The whole idea is to make him enjoy! In case you are too disgusted by his cum, then you can just as well limit yourself to dildos, one night stands and masturbation, because guys are humans too, and only when we don’t need to invest time in a girl we can accept she is using us.

After I tried interrupting giving oral sex to a girl as described above, I can only imagine how bad girls would react if I let the drool come out of my mouth because I wouldn’t want to risk swallowing their taste, and I can only imagine if I finish by quickly walking to the bathroom with my fakest smile and starting to make gagging and spitting sounds as if I had just licked the most disgusting thing I can lick. I haven’t tried it yet, because I am not as cruel as a lot of girls are.

I am sure nearly every girl would be massively offended if a guy gave her oral sex only to do all the things that make her feel she is disgusting, like gagging, not swallowing his own spit or her liquid, and spitting things out. I don’t see why girls think that guys should be ok when these girls make the guy feel his dick is disgusting.

Also, yes pussy juice is generally less sticky and less strong tasting than sperm, but it is not only your juice guys are tasting down there, no matter how well you are washed. And if he licks you when you are unwashed, then don’t go crying if he cheats on you when you reject him in anything sexual or when keep him waiting too long for his desires to be fulfilled.

I am sorry girls, we guys only accept your expressions of disgust and your rejections in sex because we have to. But if we have a little bit of balls and self-respect, it makes us want to search for sexual satisfaction elsewhere, even if we love you.

We might not be able to change that we love you and that we want to be with you (which actually is something you shouldn’t deserve if you make your guy feel he is disgusting). But we know sure as hell that there are girls who know how to make a guy feel special, and you thinking we will avoid looking elsewhere, is like hoping that your turds are worth their weight in gold. It doesn’t work unless you are dealing with a guy without self respect.

Cumming in a warm wet hole of a girl we like and seeing her feeling genuinely proud is the greatest feeling a girl can give to a guy. Are you sure you don’t want him to feel that great?
swallow

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One thought on “How to give a mindblowing blowjob – in six steps!

  1. Pingback: A man’s personal fantasies revealed | braineggs

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