For guys: Be single!
For girls: don’t be single.
For all the men in a relationship:
For all the single ladies:
For those who expected a slightly longer post, see below for another of my rants and some spicy confessions (while respecting the anonymity of the people involved) that all boiled up in my mind when just thinking of Valentine’s day.
To answer the question in the title, we first have to answer this question:
How has Valentine, the day of love, turned into a lose-lose situation?
Simple answer? Sexism. Gender inequality. While officially the day of love, it has nothing to do with mutual love, and everything with men being pressured into pampering women and feeding women’s sense of entitlement to have a man make her feel loved unconditionally, and failing to make women aware that men like to feel special too. This creates a very unbalanced situation that disfavors both genders, and leads to the following lose-lose situation:
As a girl, you expect to get something.
Now, if you do, whatever you get, nothing can live up to your expectation, and the power of the surprise factor is missing too because you are expecting something anyways. Yet, at the same time you have to show appreciation for this thing that doesn’t lift you up all that much, compared to when you would receive it unexpectedly. Also, you aren’t sure about your guy’s motivation, as there is so much social pressure on him to do anything tangible enough to answer the question: “So what did you do for your girl on Valentine’s day?” without having to justify himself.
And if you don’t get anything, you are going into self-doubt mode and shame your guy, again with neither of you feeling too happy.
As a guy, you know this day isn’t about mutual love: it’s about gender inequality. Where are all the women wanting to prove how much they love their guy? It doesn’t even have to be on Valentine’s day. There are 365 days in a year to show how much you want your guy happy.
After all: love is about two things:
(1) enjoying spending time together,
(2) having an urge to make the other person happy because their happiness makes you happy, especially if you can do something for them that they really care about.
Me personally, I really care about feeling sexually satisfied and experiencing my sexual fantasies, and I think I am not the only guy.
So where are the women wanting us guys happy?
The only reason we guys get frustrated by Valentine’s because we are really concerned and really WANT our girl happy, but know it is an impossible task. Not because we are demanding or feel hurt that there is no mutual attempt to express love.
But women, they are only frustrated about not GETTING happy themselves. They are all about getting, not about giving.
They are never concerned about making their guy happy, even if it is very easy. I mean, sucking dick, swallowing, telling a guy you would think it is hot if he jizzes in your face or anywhere else on you, inviting your hot friend over for a few hours, letting your guy try anal: these are all things that take less than a few hours and are all very actionable, and GUARANTEED to make your guy feel special EVEN if he expects it.
Where are all the girlfriends who say: “I invited my hottest single female friend over so you can have that threesome you always wanted just because I love you so much and want to show you I want you happy”? I mean: girls get told since childhood guys are all about sex, so how can they NOT know that to make a guy feel loved basically means he needs the sexual liberties that you enjoy as a woman?
FYI: Here are the sexual liberties women enjoy that men don’t:
As a woman you can get sex whenever you want without effort with whoever you want and however you want. (Yes, you have the risk that you can get shamed or judged for it afterwards, but is not exclusively a female disadvantage: everyone gets judged. Men too. For men actually it’s worse: too many girls and we men are a douchebag, asshole player, too few girls , we are a pathetic loser. Also, girls only need to hide things, which you are biologically designed for. Hidden ovulation. Guys don’t know if they need to brag or hide, because both have their downsides.)
Anyways: getting sex when we want with whoever we want, how we want is a privilege we men don’t generally have and that’s why when a woman arranges that for us, it feels ‘Woooooow, I like this woman. I want to keep her.’ It feels really good to have the basics of a relationship (sex) smooth and like we want it. For girls it’s a given, for guys it’s a battle.
I mean as a girl: go out to have fun? Three volunteers to the least per night walking up to you without you having to do any effort whatsoever. If you want you can fuck whoever you want.
And as a girl, did you ever meet any guy who ever somehow insinuated: “your vagina is too disgusting to put my mouth too. I will make gagging sounds whenever your juice touches my mouth”? I’m sorry, I don’t think so.
So why doesn’t it ever cross a girl’s mind that to guys these simple things which she takes for granted can be really hard to achieve for guys, very easy for her to give, and therefore very simply put to action to help win his love instead of sneaky sales tactics?
Having multiple girls in the same night who absolutely are ready for sex: sorry, I can be 6 foot 3, a model, be reasonably muscular and fit, have a PhD, studied female psychology for a decade and still not figured it out. A fat chubby short girl with no ambition and no understanding of guys has it easier to:
– get sex with the snap of a finger with a person she has just met
– get oral sex when she asks without being refused the first time around (or even without asking)
– get her juices swallowed during oral sex instead of someone gagging and pretending it’s a big deal and disgusting, or having to negotiate
– be intimate and be sure the other person is going to be totally okay to have her juices on him instead of possible saying ‘Ewww’
– slide her finger up his anus without warning (instead of having to beg or cajole him)
– have two men at once
– and who knows what else that if we guys would be able to get all this in reverse so easily, we would feel “Wow, I am so privileged”.
But as a guy? Sorry: unconditional sex just happens by accident when we run into a horny girl who didn’t urn into anyone cooler than ourselves that night.
Other than that it is something we have to WORK towards. Not really flattering in any way. You’d be amazed how something so basic as fast sex, or oral sex is withheld from guys, ESPECIALLY if we try to seriously enter relationships or showing signs of genuine affection for a girl. (If as a guy you are clear you aren’t going to be serious, girls are much quicker and much less conditional on everything sexual: it’s a horrible dilemma for sexual guys like myself who actually love being in a relationship, and it has made me unhappy to be both single and in a relationship, because either way, I cannot get both sexual and relational happiness at once, unless I cheat.)
Girls swallowing our juices without gagging sounds or making it a big deal? Thanks a lot!
Doin it without us asking? Wow! I thought only guys do that for girls (or did you think when we lick no juices come out of you?), not the other way around. Means a lot to us guys after 70 years of women battling for gender equality has left the bedroom the number one place where women bully guys and make us work for everything they get for free from us, and make us feel disgusting for things that if we made them feel disgusting for, they’d throw the biggest temper tantrum you’d ever see. (No wonder we guys revolt later in the relationship by not having sex and refusing to give oral to the same girl who initially when she was still hot didn’t let us have sex and initially refused to give us oral and put a wall up for all the things she did so easily for another. I absolutely don’t pity the women in a stable relationship who’s guy never licks them or is hardly ever in the mood for sex with her: she probably let him work for sex she gave so easily to a stranger and probably refused to give head or swallow when she was all new and could still make him feel he was special and hot, instead of waiting until he felt he earned sex with her through hard work. If you play that trick on me, it will come bite you in your ass, even if I want to treat you good, and I have the impression that’s how it works with a lot of guys. Karma in the bedroom.)
Me going anal on a girl without me asking her permission first? I don’t think so.
Me telling a girl that it will feel good to her if I stimulate her anally because the stimulation will poke through layers of body tissue to reach her sensitive spot, and that guaranteed she will really like it if only she just let’s me? I think only girls are allowed to use that excuse.
But then again, if when we guys go anal on you, our dick cannot be felt in other body areas (e.g. indirectly stimulating the G-spot or something), then it cannot be all that horribly painful either, right? I really want to fucking know if it actually feels tighter on my dick and ignore my feelings of disgust. And do you really think that when you would be in the unlikely situation of experiencing pain after kindly offering me the opportunity WITHOUT all the standard rejection and standard delayed gratification, I will just go “I dont give a fuck you are hurting. I will continue”??? Of course not!!!! I will feel you are very kind and be extra careful to take into account how you feel and to not hurt you. So let me fucking try! And offer without waiting for me to ask!
And for once: don’t fucking start with a refusal and making me feel that the only sexual satisfaction I ever had from you came after I worked my way through a barrier of rejection!
I also want to feel for once that a girl just wants me happy without having to feel I pushed her, convinced her, persuaded her or her trying to make me feel I can only have it if I earn it. Just like you. I want to feel I earned it just by the virtue of being me. By virtue of me being special to her from the moment she first met me. Why is no girl offering me without me asking? I mean, you all wanted to lose your virginity knowing it could potentially hurt. Why not be prepared to endure some potential pain for another guy who is still in your life? Maybe it feels good with him? Maybe there is no pain? (Some guys actually research this before and know they need to use lubricant. Also, not every guy just shoves it in completely in one go if that is too much to take.)
And threesome where the other girl is arranged for me by my main girl? Girl, you truly are unique and a keeper! Why? Because if you do this there is no doubt you truly fucking love to see me happy, unlike every other girl who is just all about her own happiness. And unlike anal or losing your virginity, you can be sure to be free of physical pain, because a threesome is just standard sex, but with two girls instead of one. You even get to have a rest occassionally and can share the work. Plus you get to bond better with your friend, and also another woman knows exactly what feels good to a woman’s body. There’s only benefit in trying it at least.
On the other hand, I don’t know a single girl who has not been having sexual relationships with two guys around the same time, so why are girls so hypocrite to not want it for us if they say they love us???? And they also know that even if we are a hot guy, we cannot just snap our finger like they can, so it only makes sense they should help arrange it, to make up for the gender inequality in ease with which girls can get sex relative to guys. Also, girls feel loved by the time we spend in them, so if she wants to make us guys feel loved (feeling our sexual fantasies are handed on a platter isntead of locked behind barrier after barrier) and still feel loved herself (get most of our time), then she should help to make sure we waste as little as time on chasing other girls and just help us get those other girls, no?
Anyways, there are my sexual fantasies again (which are all just about me wanting to feel a girl wants me happy from her heart) and my frustrations (feeling that simple kind acts coming out of a girl’s heart because she loves to see me happy is so fucking hard to get by).
I think this is like the fifth post where I get pissed for girls getting all the sex I like to have, just because they own a vagina. Fuck that, I am really envious, and Valentine’s day is just a kind reminder of how girls can get everything I love to feel without them having to do the slightest bit of effort. Ugh…
Call me sex-obsessed, but someone who knows me knows that actually I am just a fucked up romantic.
Sex soon after first meeting? My idea of being loved at first sight, of being special
Oral and swallowing? Feels like those little romantic things she does that show she loves me.
Anal and threesomes? Making a ‘sacrifice’ for love, because you know that in the end you will be happier making this sacrifice for your loved one than to never bother trying.
Me dreading the feeling that I have to ask? I only want something that comes from her heart, and would never enjoy something that feels forced.
But then again, I am also inadvertently horrible: because of my romantic nature, I have the power to make girls feel so good to have me, that they all feel horrible after they lose me. Of course they can’t live with the idea they had the power to keep such a loving guy as me so easily (fucking me as fast as possible, sucking my dick, swallowing, letting me try anal, arranging a threesome for at least once, all really takes less than 24 hours out of their life and easily can be done a first time without refusing or even by proposing it before I mention) yet they still failed.
To deal with the cognitive dissonance of losing such a special guy for failing to make him feel the same sexual privileges they take for granted for getting, they feel forced to tell themselves that guy didn’t love them or whatever, and totally disregard that he just had a genuine urge to make them happy, spend time with them, and hold them and make them feel safe in his strong arms, but couldn’t take the pain of their urge to make him happy being less than that. Sometimes, I am making it easier on them and I throw a little drama before breaking up so it is easier on them for thinking I am just undeserving and blabla.
Clearly just thinking about Valentine’s day makes me kind of pissed.
Actually, I shouldn’t be pissed and I should take back some of my complaints. It’s exaggerated that what I want sexually always comes after a battle: that’s only true for some of it. My second girl I ever slept with was an MIT graduate who I shared the bed with the same evening we met. Later that year, I got involved with a 33 year old Catholic Indonesian virgin who eventually couldn’t resist being in the bed with me without having sex, and who then pulled down her pants herself and let me go inside her very frequently ever since (but not beyond her hymen) until we stopped seeing eachother. I also had something with a then 23 year old Chinese virgin who had tried to lose her virginity to 6 guys prior to me, but of which none could penetrate beyond (she had the horrible habit of trying to find a guy in a nightclub, sleeping with each only once and then breaking contact, and also of waiting to tell until the last moment she was virgin which helps to deflate any unsuspecting guy instantaneously from the unexpected tremendous responsibility all guys feel for taking a girl’s virginity. Moreover she was the one that would give a little squeeze to the dick to test for hardness and turn around sulking if it was anything less than rockhard within a second, which I think conditions guys to become impotent around her, because we also need foreplay sometimes, and absolutely shouldn’t be focusing on how hard we are.) Admittedly, I also almost didn’t get beyond the first night where I too had failed, but with a lot of time investment I did get to see her and eventually deflower her many months later. Also, she didn’t swallow but at least I came in her face when the last moment she decided to close her mouth and I had no way of holding back what was on it’s way out. After a turbulent relationship with a Spanish fury in the second half of 2015, 2016 started off with meeting a very pretty Mexican mixed blood girl in the Louvre and a night later having her in my bedroom in Versailles. I had a Brazilian girl who wanted me for a few weeks of sex after meeting me and who housed me. That same year I also had something with a Bulgarian girl who would go down on me during our walks (with a huge risk of getting caught and an apartment building facing us at our usual spot.) She’d swallow every time even though she claimed she never did that for anyone. And she was okay that I continued dating other girls, although in the whole time I only once had something with someone else. A pretty 30 YO Malagasy MILF. Recently I had a Congolese girl who went down on me just like that, even let me teabag her without me having to suggest a mouth on my balls feels really good too, and she asked me before I came and before I could ask her: “Would you like me to swallow once you cum?” (Answer: I love it. Especially if she continues to suck and make sure she gets every last drop out of me.) And in 2015 I actually once really fell in love with a crazy Spanish girl I couldn’t forget for a long time, most probably because one of the first times I came she just went down with her head to catch my cum in her mouth and swallowed it with what seemed the most genuine happy smile I would so often see on her whenever I came. She never even asked but just immediately went for it, let alone gave me a chance to ask her: it felt sooooo good. Probably this was one of the reasons why I was so in love with this girl, and also that she accepted me, my body, my cum, my past, and encouraged me to stand up for myself even to her and not shy away from conflict or being disliked. (Unfortunately, outside of that she was totally wrong as she lacked the skill of empathy for anyone, enjoyed arguments and got a sadistic pleasure out of emotionally hurting anyone she had ever been involved with and was also physically abusive.)
All of the above sexual experiences and others that I haven’t mentioned made me feel very special, and I keep being amazed how easy it is for girls to make me feel special as long as they get some sort of satisfaction from seeing me satisfied.
For any potential candidates who want to know why it didn’t last despite that? For me sex is the basics of any intimate relationship. After the basics are covered, there are still other things that matter a lot too.
(Moreover, I mention what was really good and sexually satisfactory with each girl, but I can guarantee you that except for the Spanish girl that I really got a huge crush on, all other girls contributed to sexual rejection in areas i didn’t mention here. E.g, the Malagasy MILF was a dominatrix of some sort, which is okay when I am horny but not when I am not, and she was very jealous and possessive even though I just met her.)
At this moment, I am trying to focus less on these sexual fantasies as I got quite a bit of a crush on a girl I am involved with, but I don’t know where it is going and I am a bit blind by my feelings for her. I only know it feels really good at the moment to be with her (not just sexually) and I enjoy making her happy, and am under the impression it is mutual. She makes me totally forget the frustrations that come around Valentine. The only reason these frustrations boiled up was because I wanted to share her wonderfully phrased insight, which I made reference to earlier and which I tried to paraphrase below. And then somehow it made me think of how I’d feel if I weren’t so lucky to have met a girl who thinks like this.
Yes, she is actually the one who so beautifully phrased the idea that there are 364 other days in the year to show love, and that it is artificial to feel obligated to express it on this one particular day of the year. She is the one who professed that this social obligation just causes girls to end up with expectations that can never be met, and guys never able to meet those expectations, nor be expected to have any expectations of their own. I am really happy to have met her and hope my sexual fantasies and frustrations can stay under control.
I almost forgot to answer the question in my title. In short, the safest way to survive Valentine’s day is to be a woman. You won’t be happy, but at least you have no worries. If you are a guy in a relationship of some sort, the answer is: luck. You need luck to be with a good girl who happens to be in a good mood that day.