While every individual is unique, we can make generalizations based on how prevalent certain behaviors are in certain subpopulations. This is also true for gender differences: while every man and every woman is unique, there are certain behaviorisms more common in men, and others in women. One such gender difference is that on average men tend to be more straightforward, and women less so.
By their nature then, women more than men, have developed means to get revenge and hurt someone, as well as to get what they want by an array of subversive, manipulative tactics in interactions with other people. Here we list the three most common tactics used primarily (but not exclusively) by women:
1 – plausible deniability
Plausible deniability = doing something intentionally, yet done in such a way that the aggressor can claim it wasn’t intentional, and the victim has no way to prove that claim wrong. This is the core of passive aggression.
(For more info, see my blogpost on plausible deniability here)
2 – creating false hopes
Creating false hopes = suggesting or explicitly stating something will happen, not with the intention to follow through, but with the intention to control another person.
(See my blog post on creating false hopes here)
3 – shaming
shaming = suggesting or explicitly stating that a person’s behavior is reprehensible or that the person as a whole is reprehensible because of some undesired behavior.
(See my first blog post on general shaming here, my second one on how to shame men here, and a third one on how to counter shaming here.)
We will go into detail in each of these in three separate posts which all have the subheading manipulation 101. These posts will help you to spot and counter these dirty manipulation tactics. While those who often use these tactics (usually women) are often more skilled at them, more wary of them, and better able to counter them, people who don’t often use these tactics (usually men) tend to be relatively defenseless and at the mercy of whoever unleashes such passive aggression. Even women can be terribly frustrated when other women use these techniques on them.
Again, I am not claiming men do not use these tactics. It is just that in my experience, women use these more often than men, are more experienced in using them in intricate ways and a wide variety of settings, and have less moral concerns about using them.