Attraction & PHYSICAL NEEDS (Maslow’s 1st level)

1 physical needs

The most basic, primary needs that need to be met before all else are the physical needs


  1. Physical Needs

For attraction to be at all possible it is necessary that physical needs are met.

In an extreme example, if you would be attracted to a charming, but starving, horny homeless bum, who is nearly freezing in the cold and exhausted from bad sleep, you would have to first make sure this person is not starving anymore, is fucked, gets an opportunity to be well rested, and gets to be in a warm place, if you would like this person to become receptive to you at all.

If you think having something (casual) with a bum is farfetched, watch this:



Now, if you want more generally applicable tips, just take into account that you meet the following basic needs:

    If you are dating: make sure your potential love interest is not famishing. In practical terms, this means it is best that either you are going to go out and have a meal together on your date, or that you make sure you both meet at a time when your stomachs aren’t shouting for attention. Just make sure hunger will not interfere with the build up of chemistry between the two of you. If you start to notice that your date’s stomach or your own stomach starts rumbling, be sure to find a place to grab something to eat asap.
    Despite equal rights and all that, I think that especially guys love being being offered food by a girl (even a chocolate will do), regardless of whether she just wants something casual or something serious, and girls still enjoy being taken out on dinner dates.

    If you are already in a relationship:
    cooking for your loved one can be a nice sign of caring for them. Moreover, it deals perfectly with the bad temper that people can get into when their most basic needs are not met, i.e. when they are famishing and exhausted at the end of a day or wen they wake up. And of course, dinner dates can continue after dating into your relationship. (Frequency depending on your budget and normal spending pattern.)


    For anything to develop, short or long term, it is crucial that physiological needs are met so they cannot interfere.


    If you are dating: always make sure to offer your date a drink regularly, even if it is just a plastic bottle you are carrying around in your purse or backpack.
    (Of course, pay attention you are not offering bottled water in which your mouth bacteria have been festering to the extent that the bottle has an odor. This is best prevented if you find a way to drink without passing your saliva and mouth bacteria into the water, and if you make this new way of drinking from plastic bottles a habit. That way, you never have to worry that if you drink from your bottle, you will have to offer it and repulse or poison the person you hope to get attracted to you.)

    If you are already in a relationship:
    if tap water is not drinkable, always keep some unopened drinks ready in your place. Or offer some tea or coffee. (Also applies for dates.)

    drinking no touching

    The best way to keep that bottle smell fresh: don’t touch with your saliva, and don’t exhale in it.


    If you are dating: be aware that some people find it uncomfortable to interrupt a date to go to the toilet (they don’t want their date to imagine them pissing or taking a crap at the very moment they are doing that), and they rather hold it up until they get home or they really can’t hold it up anymore – whichever comes first. Take the lead in making your date comfortable, and just bluntly say “I have to take a piss” early on. That way your date will lose any potential reservation (s)he may have had for expressing (s)he has to go to the toilet as well. (Guys, of course this doesn’t work if you do this where no toilets are available, and are using your male privilege to be able to whip out your d*ck and start pissing wherever you want.)

    If you are already in a relationship:
     some people think it is really funny to NOT go to the toilet so they can stink up the room. However, this interferes with another basic physical need, namely that for fresh air. So if you do this, in a way you are undermining not only your own basic physical needs (need for going to the toilet), but also those of your partner (need for fresh air).soiled-air

    If you are dating: whether it is too cold or too hot, this is a blessing and the perfect excuse for getting that chemistry going more easily between the two of you! If your date says, “I’m cold”, this is your cue to get closer shoulder to shoulder, hold hands, to give a hug, and to put an arm around each other. Guys: your girl feeling cold is a perfect opportunity to show her how gentlemanly you are, and put your jacket over her: she’ll love this. (If she’s extreme feminist, she might refuse out of principle, but will still appreciate the kind gesture.)
    In contrast, if you are feeling it is too warm, this is the perfect excuse to show off your shoulders (girls too! feminine shoulders are a turn on for guys: you don’t need to have muscles) and other parts of your body and trigger your date’s fantasies about you.

    If you are already in a relationship:
     remember what you did when you were dating and felt too hot or too cold! Heating up the bed by releasing gas is not a good way of solving a basic need for warmth, because you are taking away fresh air and thus creating a new unfulfilled basic need.
    Just don’t do it.  And if you feel your feet are cold, don’t just go and warm then on your partners’ body without warning.

    feeling hot

    Feeling hot? Make your date feels it too!


    If you are dating: who needs sleep when you just started having sex, and are having sex all the time?
    If you are already in a relationship: who needs sex, when you can spend your time together as couch potatoes watching tv shows till you want to sleep?

    man woman

    Fulfilling basic physical needs is of primary importance before all else.


2 thoughts on “Attraction & PHYSICAL NEEDS (Maslow’s 1st level)

  1. Pingback: Attraction based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs | braineggs

  2. Pingback: Creating False Hopes – Manipulation 101 | braineggs

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