Some sh*tty metaphors for life a clever friend of mine came up with for those who feel lost and might need a sense of direction:
– Sh*t always goes down.
Meaning: In any relationship, if you have power over another (the ability to make them feel good or bad) you can always hand down problems and issues to be resolved to that person. For example, in an office context, as someone working under a superior, you’re going to have to deal with sh*t coming down on you. This may apply outside of office contexts as well, to any context where someone has somewhat more authority than another, whether it be senior and junior colleagues, parents and kids, older and younger siblings, and all other relationships where there is sometimes a power balance in favor of one over another…
– Sh*t is better spread. (I realize this doesn’t make sense unless you’re a monkey, a newborn, demented or if you have a serious mental disorder, but hey I didn’t invent this one.)
Meaning: Don’t deal with sh*t all by yourself. Share it. Talk about it. Let others help you deal with it.
– Love is like sh*t.
It must come naturally.
If you force it, it most likely won’t come. However, if it does, it’s going to be hard and it might either be less than you had wished for, or too much to handle.
And some additional sh*tty adages I came up with:
– It’s not healthy to hold in your sh*t. Acknowledge it, and spend the necessary time to get it over with.
Meaning: when you know there’s a problem, don’t ignore it or postpone it, don’t keep it to yourself, and don’t keep thinking about it continuously without acting on it.
– Know that in life, shit will happen on a regular basis.
Deal with it when the time comes and move on once it’s over.
– There’s a time and place to deal with sh*t: it’s not always and everywhere, though you may think otherwise when in the midst of it.
– Sometimes you are full of shit, and you know it.
There can be two reasons for this:
(1) You don’t want to show your true self
(2) You are not given a chance.
Either way, at some point, you are going to stink things up big time…
And one I found online:
– TIME DOESN’T HEAL SHIT. TIME ONLY MAKES SHIT HARDER.
Meaning: Time doesn’t heal anything unless “YOU” get off your arse and make an effort to rebuild your life and heal yourself.
(credit for the last one goes to Shravan Venkataraman,